Starting Home Education with a SEN Child

If your child is autistic, PDA, ADHD, anxious, or school-refusing, the decision to home educate often doesn't feel like a choice - it's survival mode.

This guide is for parents who never planned this, don't have teaching backgrounds, and are exhausted before they even start.

What You're Legally Required to Do

Parents in Ireland have the constitutional right to educate their children at home. The State has a corresponding duty to ensure that children are being educated.

Step 1: Notify the Authorities

You need to inform the relevant educational welfare body that you are taking on your child's education.

What this looks like:

A written notice (letter or email) stating your intention
Include: child's name, date of birth, address
State that you will provide a "suitable education"

When to send it:

Before removing your child from school (if enrolled)
If never enrolled, before they reach compulsory school age (6 years old)
If you're already home educating without notification, as soon as possible

Where to send it: Check the current process on your local educational welfare office or the relevant State body's website. The system has changed over the years; the principle (notify the authorities) hasn't.

What "Suitable Education" Actually Means

This is the phrase that terrifies parents: suitable education.

What it does NOT mean:

Following the national curriculum
Replicating school at home
Daily lessons in every subject
Formal assessments or tests

What it DOES mean:

Your child is engaged in learning activities
You're covering different areas (not just one obsession, though hyperfocus is fine as part of a broader picture)
Learning is progressing over time (however that looks for your child)

For a SEN child, "suitable" often means:

Learning through play, conversation, and real-world experiences
Following their interests and energy levels
Respecting their need for rest and regulation
Adjusting to their sensory and emotional needs

The authorities understand that SEN kids learn differently. You're not competing with school-based outcomes.

Deschooling: The Phase No One Warns You About

If your child attended school (or attempted to), they're likely traumatized. Even if they wanted to go, the stress adds up.

Deschooling is the recovery period.

What It Looks Like

Sleeping a lot
Playing for hours with the same thing
Refusing anything that looks like "work"
Emotional dysregulation
Testing boundaries
Asking "Do I have to?" constantly

How Long It Takes

A rough guideline: one month of deschooling for every year in school.

So if your child spent 3 years in school, expect 3 months before they're ready to engage with structured learning again.

For some SEN kids, deschooling never fully "ends" - and that's okay. Low-demand education means meeting them where they are, not waiting for them to be "ready" for school-at-home.

What You Should Do During This Time

Let them rest
Follow their lead
Notice what they're drawn to
Don't force worksheets or lessons
Reassure them (and yourself) that learning is happening

Crucially: Start logging what you notice. Even "Played Minecraft for 4 hours - worked on problem-solving, planning, resource management" is learning. This is where actually, helps - you capture moments without turning them into pressure.

The First 90 Days: What to Focus On

1. Routine Without Rigidity

SEN kids often need predictability but can't handle pressure.

Try:

Loose daily rhythms (not strict schedules)
Visual supports if helpful (not mandatory)
Flexibility for bad days

Avoid:

"You have to finish this before..."
Forcing activities because "it's time"
Comparing to school hours

2. Follow the Hyperfocus

If your child wants to spend 6 hours on dinosaurs, Roblox, drawing, or trains - let them.

This is where deep learning happens:

Research skills
Reading (even if it's wikis or game guides)
Math (building, trading, planning)
Writing (chat, stories, captions)
Executive function (organizing info, making decisions)

Your job: Notice what they're learning and write it down.

3. Real-World Learning

SEN kids often learn best outside of "educational" contexts.

Examples:

Cooking together (math, science, following instructions)
Shopping (money, planning, social skills)
Building projects (engineering, problem-solving)
Nature walks (observation, science, sensory regulation)
Conversations (critical thinking, language, social understanding)

If it happens in your home, it's education.

4. Keep a Simple Log

You don't need a complex system. You just need evidence that learning is happening.

What to capture:

Date
What happened (brief)
What they learned (your interpretation)

Example:

"Dec 15 - Built a Lego city for 3 hours. Worked on spatial reasoning, planning, and perseverance when the tower kept falling."

actually, is designed for exactly this: logging moments without turning it into a task. You can jot notes on your phone as things happen, tag by learning area, and generate a report later if needed.

What About Curriculum?

You don't need one immediately. Many SEN families never use a formal curriculum.

When curriculum helps:

Your child asks for structure
You need concrete "proof" for reviews
Certain subjects need sequential learning (like math)

When curriculum hurts:

It becomes another thing your child refuses
You feel like a failure when you don't "keep up"
It removes flexibility for bad days

Middle ground: Use resources loosely. Have math workbooks available, but don't force daily pages. Offer educational games, documentaries, library books - but let your child choose.

The Review Process (And How to Prepare)

At some point, the authorities will want to check in. This is called an assessment or review.

What It Is

A conversation (usually) with an inspector
A look at what your child has been doing
A discussion of your approach

What It Is NOT

A test for your child
A judgment of your worth as a parent
A comparison to school-based children

What They Want to See

Evidence of learning activities
Coverage across different areas (language, math, science, arts, social, physical)
That your child is progressing (however you define that)

How to Prepare

Gather your log entries (this is where actually, shines - you can generate a report by date range or learning area)
Collect samples if you have them (drawings, photos, projects)
Write a brief summary of your approach
Be honest: if your child is still deschooling, say so

Key mindset: You're showing what IS happening, not proving what "should" be happening.

Common Fears (And The Reality)

"What if they think I'm not doing enough?"

Define "enough" for a SEN child. If your child is regulated, engaged, and learning at their own pace, that's enough. The authorities know that SEN kids don't fit school metrics.

"What if my child won't cooperate during a review?"

Most inspectors understand SEN challenges. Let them know in advance. The review can happen without your child present, or with accommodations (like them playing nearby while you talk).

"What if I'm questioned about gaps?"

There will be gaps. School kids have gaps too. You're not required to cover everything at once. Show breadth over time, not perfection in every moment.

"What if I'm told to send them back to school?"

This is extremely rare if you're making a genuine effort. The State's role is to ensure education is happening, not to force school attendance. If there are concerns, you'll be given time and guidance to address them.

Connecting With Other Families

You're not alone. Many Irish families are home educating SEN kids.

Where to find support:

Home education Facebook groups (Ireland-specific)
Local SEN parent networks
Online communities for PDA, autism, ADHD

What to look for:

Parents who understand the survival-mode reality
Advice that doesn't assume your child is "typical"
Practical tips, not judgment

What to avoid:

Groups that push rigid schedules or curricula
Comparisons to "high-achieving" home educated kids
Pressure to justify your approach constantly

Reframing What "Education" Means

If your child spent years in school anxiety, meltdowns, or shutdown - you're not "behind." You're recovering.

Learning isn't just:

Sitting at a desk
Completing worksheets
Being tested

Learning is:

Curiosity
Conversation
Play
Rest (yes, rest is learning for a dysregulated nervous system)
Small moments of engagement

If your child laughed today, asked a question, built something, or told you a story - they learned.

Tools That Might Help

For Logging

actually, (designed for exactly this - log moments, see patterns, generate reports without the pressure of daily tracking)

For Ideas

actually, (designed for exactly this - has easy activity ideas to help you when you don't know what to do)
Library (books, audiobooks, educational kits)
YouTube (documentaries, how-to videos, educational channels)
Museums, parks, community programs (when sensory-friendly)

For Structure (If You Want It)

Oak National Academy (free UK-based lessons, no pressure)
Khan Academy (self-paced, visual)
Twinkl (printable resources, but don't feel obligated to use them)

Final Thoughts

You don't need to have this figured out.

Home education with a SEN child is often one day at a time, one moment at a time.

Your job is not to be a teacher.
Your job is to notice learning, create space for it, and hold the record of what's happening.

If you're here, reading this, trying to do right by your child - you're already doing enough.

Need a place to log learning moments without the pressure? actually, was built for families like yours. Try it free.